THE EARS ROLE: TYLER early to mid 20’s male, Tyler: Tyler and Sue chat about Tyler’s last blind date. Light comedy. SUE and TYLER are meeting for lunch. SUE’s there. TYLER comes in. SUE So? Tell me. TYLER You were right. She’s great. Really funny. Very smart. SUE But… TYLER She’s a terrific person. I’m just… not that attracted to her. SUE What’s wrong with her? TYLER Nothing. She’s very pretty. SUE But… TYLER Her ears are rather large. SUE Oh my god. Her ears? TYLER They’re on the biggish side. SUE Her ears. TYLER You’ve never noticed this? SUE No. How “big” are they? TYLER They’re huge. They’re enormous. She’s like two ears that happen to have a head. SUE I am so judging you right now. TYLER I’m sorry. SUE Besides, she wears her hair down. TYLER I know. But then she turns her head and one of them pops out, (indicating) like, thwap! SUE This is why I never fix friends up. So that’s it? You’re not going to go out with her again because you can’t see past her ears? TYLER You can’t! SUE You shallow, shallow man. TYLER What? You go out with guys you’re not attracted to? (Then, awkward) Wait, I’m sorry, I’m making an assump— Do you go out with guys? SUE Yes, I go out with guys. TYLER Okay. I didn’t know. We’re new. SUE And yes, I’ve gone out with guys I wasn’t that physically attracted to. If they had great personalities, or they were awesome people, or I admired something about them. And sometimes, as I got to know them, and care about them, they became more appealing to me. TYLER See, I’ve never had that happen. SUE Well, of course not. Because you’re too small-minded to even consider someone who didn’t meet your ridiculous, tiny-eared standards. TYLER (Shrugs) That may be. (Making a decision) Okay. SUE Okay what? TYLER I’ll see her again. SUE No no no no no. TYLER Why not? SUE She is my friend. I am not going to subject her to your petty, superficial – TYLER I’m trying to do what you said. Be more open-minded. What if you’re right? (Taking out cell phone) Maybe if I get to know her better, I won’t be so hung up on … SUE What are you doing? TYLER I’m gonna make another date with her. SUE Put down the phone. TYLER No. SUE Put it down. TYLER Why? SUE Because it’s never going to work out! TYLER And why not? SUE (Blurting, Confessing) Because her ears are huge! They’re like bread plates! TYLER (Victorious) Oh, so you noticed them? SUE How could you not?! In college we called her “Three Heads’! TYLER Then why did you set me up with her?! SUE Because I was hoping you were a better person than I am! TYLER Well, I’m not!! (He snaps his cell phone shut. There is a pause) TYLER (CONT’D) Do you think she can hear better than we can? SUE Oh, she hears us now. THERE’S NO CRYING IN JAPAN ROLE: SKYLAR, early to mid 20s Dramatic. Skylar and Mitch sit next to each other. Mitch looks slightly sullen. As Skylar hands him a beer – SKYLAR I’m gonna give you some advice… MITCH I don’t want your advice. SKYLAR Well, take it anyway. Because I’m your brother. And I’ve seen some shit in my day. MITCH No you haven’t. SKYLAR Okay, maybe I haven’t. But I am stronger and better-looking than you. So you have to listen to me. MITCH Fine. (beat) What is it? SKYLAR Don’t cry in front of the Japanese. They’re only gonna view it as a sign of weakness. Mitch stares at him. MITCH Why would I cry in front of the Japanese? SKYLAR Because you’re gonna be miserable in Japan, Mitch. You’re gonna hate it there. Mitch shakes his head – MITCH I’m gonna love it there. SKYLAR Maybe. At first. You’ll get there and be all, “Wow. This is great. They have… kimonos and… swords and… underpants in vending machines” and you’ll think, “Everything’s finally turning around for me.” (beat) But then, after about… two months you’re gonna wake up and realize it’s no different. These are the same underpants you can buy down in Chinatown. And your problems haven’t changed just ‘cause the scenery did… (beat) You’re gonna realize… you’re just as unhappy there as you are here. And Mitch bristles at that – MITCH I’m not unhappy here. SKYLAR Yeah, look at you. You’re thrilled right now. MITCH It’s been a bad night. SKYLAR Fuck the night. It’s always something. You need to stop worrying so much, just appreciate where you are. (gestures out to city) We’re here. Look at that skyline. Look at that view. (beat) How can anything be bad? Mitch stares out at the city. Maybe Skylar has a point. It’s moments, Mitch. (beat) Just don’t cry in public. They feed on it like sharks over there. THE RUNAWAY ROLE: KRIS, MALE, 18-20 Dramatic. KRIS’ sitting on the sidewalk. ANGIE tentatively enters with a big brown bag. Kris shoots her a look, then ignores her. KRIS What the hell are you doing here? ANGIE I brought you some take-out. Thought you might be hungry. KRIS I already ate. ANGIE I’ll leave it here. Maybe you’ll be hungry later. KRIS Maybe. ANGIE I ran into your dad at the restaurant. Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything. But he’s pretty worried about you. KRIS I bet. ANGIE I think you should know. They’ve already called the cops. KRIS I’m shaking. ANGIE (Losing her temper) Yeah, it’s always been a dream of mine to end up on the side of a milk carton, too. KRIS Never happen. You gotta have a picture first…and God knows that son of a bitch doesn’t have any pictures of me. ANGIE If you’re looking for sympathy… KRIS (Over) I’m not. ANGIE Well, that’s good, because you’re not getting any from me. Your dad’s a good guy. He loves you a lot. KRIS Second only to his new family. ANGIE The guy tries to give you your freedom and you respond by running away? KRIS I have better things to do than waste my time in that house. ANGIE Yeah, like rejecting help from strangers because you’re too proud to admit you’re hungry. KRIS You’re so smart. Up in that big penthouse, passing judgment on the whole friggin’ town…living off room service and Daddy’s money. Your kind of help I don’t need. ANGIE (Hurt) Why are you like this? KRIS Like what? Just because I don’t want to live with that loser and his stuck up wife, it has to be your problem? I’m not a charity case, Angie. So why don’t you take your food and your uptown words of wisdom and go back to your teddy bears where you belong. ANGIE Fine. I’m gone. (She grabs the bag.) KRIS (Stopping her) And don’t come back. ANGIE Not likely. KRIS Good. THE SWITCH ROLE: Cameron, early to mid 20s, Male Light Comedy Amy sits at her desk when a shy and awkward (but still cute) Cameron sits down next to her. AMY Ooh, I’m sorry, someone’s sitting there. CAMERON Oh. Really? AMY Well, not literally this second, but yeah, someone is so… CAMERON So… AMY So, you can’t sit there. Why don’t you sit with your partner? CAMERON Yeah, Brandon and I switched. Y’know. Partners. So actually, I am. Your partner. AMY What? You can’t just switch partners, can you? I wanted to be with Brandon. CAMERON Yikes. AMY No no, it’s not you. I’m sure you’re… a lovely person, really. Just, Brandon works for the New Yorker and I have a real connection with that publication, you know? What magazine are you from? CAMERON Good Sport? AMY You see? I have zero interest in sports. CAMERON Yikes. AMY I just think it would be better if you guys switched back. CAMERON Yikes. AMY And stop saying “yikes”! CAMERON Sorry. AMY I mean, did Brandon say why he wanted to switch? CAMERON Um, well it wasn’t his idea. I mean, not originally, per se. Awkward. I guess, it was me. Who wanted to switch partners. See, I got stuck with Courtney, and she’s always talking about herself in the third person. Like, “Courtney went to the hottest club this weekend, or Courtney had the most delicious crab cake for lunch.” Which is kind of annoying. And no offense to her or anything, but everything you say in class is so… nice and down to earth…I don’t know – it just seemed like you’d be a better person to work with. AMY Oh. CAMERON I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to screw things up for you. AMY No, it’s okay. CAMERON Really? Ah, good! I promise, this’ll be good! We’re gonna be awesome – best in class probably. You do all the work, and I’ll bring the snacks. I’m kidding… A SECOND CHANCE ROLE: MICHELE, FEMALE, Early 20’s- Mid 20’s Dramatic. Ryan watches Michele as she pours six sugar packets into her coffee. RYAN Wow. Have some sugar. MICHELE Okay. RYAN Couple more you could eat that coffee with chopsticks. (Michele laughs despite herself. Then, reflectively..) MICHELE Shoulda seen me before. Black. And decaf at that. RYAN Before? (Michele’s smile fades as she stirs her coffee. Ryan catches on a few seconds later) RYAN Oh. Right. Sorry. (Michele shrugs) MICHELE It’s funny. I think of everything that way now. Before — and after. They say there’s no way you can remember; with major trauma your memory gets wiped. But I do… (Michele drifts further and further back into her mind) MICHELE (CONT’D) I remember being loaded into the ambulance. One of the paramedics had a big tattoo on his arm of a skull with a rose in its teeth. And I remember the ER surgeon joking around, third bullet wound she’d seen that night and not one of them fatal. “Criminals nowadays, they have no…stick-to-it-iveness.” (straight to Paul) Sometimes I wake up at night whispering that word: “stick-to-it-iveness.” And I remember how panicked she got when my blood pressure dropped. (beat) That’s when I died. My heart stopped. Six minutes, forty-nine seconds. RYAN My God. MICHELE And then, the most miraculous thing happened… RYAN (nodding) The white light. MICHELE No. “Starsky & Hutch.” (Ryan raises his eyebrows) MICHELE (CONT’D) I woke up, silly. In the hospital, two days later. I survived a gunshot wound to the head. If there’s a bigger miracle, you can have it. (beat) All those people who “saw the light?” They say they got a gift: a glimpse at the next life. But I got a good look at this life. The one most people miss ‘cause they’re too busy stuck in traffic, or checking their e-mail. I got the gift of today. And today is amazing. Because now I know… (beat) …it’s all there is. CONTROL ROLE: KELLY, 18-21, GIRL Dramatic. Kelly enters to see Luke rising from his chair. Alarmed, Kelly rushes to him KELLY What are you doing? You can’t walk! LUKE News flash: I can walk. And I’m not pretending otherwise. Not any more. KELLY You’re going to ruin everything. If Nancy comes in and sees you, she’ll kick you to the curb. And you’ll never get a second chance with her… LUKE I gave up on that idea a long time ago, baby girl. You’re the one who decided otherwise. KELLY That’s right. Because I couldn’t stand to see you suffer. LUKE I wasn’t suffering! I had adjusted. I was fine. KELLY Please, you were living in the back of a limo, with a rabbit. Admit it, Luke. You were a zombie. You only came to life when you were with Nancy. LUKE Okay, okay, it’s all true. But so what? I could do dry FDR imitation forever, and it won’t change the fact that Nancy’s in love with Rick. So I’m giving up. KELLY You can’t wimp out now, not when you’re so close! You’re living in her house. She’s cooking your meals and mixing your martinis. And everyday the two of you get a little bit cozier… LUKE I don’t get it. Why is this so important to you? KELLY Because… when I was little and you were taking care of all of us… Dad was God knows where, and Mom always had something else going on that was more interesting than me. They called me “the baby.” I hardly even had a name. I was invisible. No one really saw me…except for you. You played cards with me and told me funny stories when I was scared of the dark. You carried me on your back all the way home from the playground when those mean girls pushed me down and I hurt my knee. You fixed things for me, Luke. So let me help you fix your broken heart. LUKE Listen to me, pumpkin. I love you for trying. More than I can say. But some things can’t be fixed. So get your stuff together. I’m going to tell Nancy the truth. [Luke heads for the door. But before he can get there, Kelly, thinking fast, plops herself down on the floor, blocking the way. Henry sighs.] What fresh hell is this? KELLY This is your poor little sister, in a sudder, unexplained catatonic state. Her heart beats, but her voice is still. Its’ a tragedy- LUKE Okay, where are you going with this? KELLY …and the only thing that can save her is the tender, loving care of her adoring brother Luke, with his devoted ex-wife Nancy by his side. Hour after hour, hand in hand, the two of them will nurse poor Kelly back to health… LUKE You can’t be serious. KELLY If you won’t play the invalid, I will. LUKE But it’s ridiculous! KELLY Then I’ll come up with something else. Face it, Luke. I’m not giving up. And deep down, you don’t want me to. LUKE [Giving Up] I’m powerless in the grip of your determination. KELLY So you’ll stick with the program? LUKE Do I have a choice? KELLY [Leading him back to the chair] You won’t regret this, Luke. LUKE I already do…. THE INSIDE ROLE: LEAH, EARLY 20’S, FEMALE Leah and DR REYNOLDS discuss Leah’s sanity. Light Comedy/Drama. DR. REYNOLDS You know, you don’t have to lay down LEAH It makes me feel officially nuts. (Dr. Perry smiles. Emma’s too sweet to be offensive.) DR. REYNOLDS Whatever makes you comfortable. (They sit in silence. Reynolds waits. Finally…) LEAH I hate his guts. He’s cheap, he’s mean to my brother, his socks smell, and he’s a frustrated middle management uncreative asshole. More? DR. REYNOLDS Okay. LEAH I hate this place.(r) DR. REYNOLDS Go on. (Leah sits up) LEAH What kind of cheap quack makes house calls? DR. REYNOLDS I’m a friend of your mother’s. I’m a family therapist, but I have a specialty in phobias, in agoraphobia. So when I treat someone who has it, I have to come to them. LEAH Good, so you’re not a cheap quack. How do you like this dump? DR. REYNOLDS How long have you felt unable to leave? Have you ever had this problem before? LEAH Never. Hell, you could have even called me a camper. I used to love going outside. DR. REYNOLDS Then what’s the problem? LEAH Isn’t that your job to figure out? (Leah smiles) I just need to sort some stuff out. I promise…4 or 5 sessions from now, I’ll be completely normal. DR. REYNOLDS It may take longer. You should prepare for that. Your mother says you’ve also stopped eating. Is that true? That can be serious. LEAH The truth is doc, I’m seriously bored. So let’s end this session… DR. REYNOLDS We just began. (Leah lays back down on the couch) LEAH Fine. I’ll take a nap. You ever fall asleep during a session? (Reynolds refuses to answer) DR. REYNOLDS What frightens you about the outdoors? LEAH There is something… someone… out there. DR. REYNOLDS What or who do you think is out there? LEAH A girl who looks exactly like me. (Dr. Reynolds raises his eyebrows) DR. REYNOLDS Like a mirror image, an alter ego? LEAH An identical twin. (Dr. Reynolds makes a note. Leah laughs) LEAH (CONT’D) What did you write… “Crazy”, and then underline it? DR. REYNOLDS When did this fear begin? LEAH The day I set foot in this house. DR. REYNOLDS And your fear of the outside is greater than your fear of the inside? LEAH(r)I can’t go and I don’t want to stay. DR. REYNOLDS A real dilemma. LEAH Maybe it’s hormonal. What do you think? (Leah gets up) DR. REYNOLDS Why don’t you tell me? (Leah bends down and stands nose to nose with Reynolds. He recoils at her provocation) LEAH I don’t trust you. DR. REYNOLDS I believe everything you tell me. LEAH And then you’ll judge it, try to analyze and change it, and you’ll confuse me more. MOTHERS AND MONEY ROLE: ARIEL, early 20s, FEMALE Rachel and her daughter, Ariel, early 20s, are having a serious discussion. Dramatic ARIEL Hey, look; I think you should take me shopping and I mean like now. RACHEL If you’re tired from the flight, we don’t have to talk just at the moment. ARIEL No, I’m fine. But…we’re really rich? Is this a joke? Like when you bought me the Rolex for my birthday? RACHEL(r)No, it— ARIEL …And you didn’t tell me it was a fake? And then it fell to pieces? RACHEL (Interrupts) Ariel. I have no intention of changing the way we live. ARIEL There’s like a Maseratti in the driveway, mom, telling a whole other story… Or is it fake too? RACHEL (Defensive) Well I don’t even know if I’m keeping it, and that’s not the point. I want us to figure out how to adjust! ARIEL Us? Do I still have to work at the Howard Johnson’s in New Haven? Because you know, if I don’t have to smell of fried Ipswich clams anymore, that’d be really good, mom. RACHEL Ariel, I know you’re angry at me, and maybe I didn’t do all the things a mother should do for her kid but –money can do so much damage; you don’t know what you’ve been spared. ARIEL Yeah, I don’t; being poor was a friggin’ blessing, mom, really. I have all this character now. It’s so cool. So what? You win the lotto? RACHEL (After a Beat) …An investment paid off. After twenty years. ARIEL An investment. So which one of the boyfriends left you a fortune? RACHEL (Quietly) That’s cruel, Ari. ARIEL I just want to know if it was worth it? Was Steven, the guy with the piece, or Russ… (Beat) Dan? Vic? RACHEL Whatever I did, I was thinking of you. Why are you being like this? ARIEL I’ve worked since I was twelve, when you were at the ashram, I bought food. When you were in India finding like yourself, mom, I got student loans and worked my way through two years of Yale… (Beat) So all your hard spiritual work paid off. RACHEL I’m saying, “I’m sorry”, but that’s over, I’ll give you money and you don’t have to worry. ARIEL (Quietly) Yeah. I get it. (Beat) But I want to know who left it to you and why. (Rachel looks at her. She cannot answer) RACHEL This is not fair. ARIEL (Quietly) What did you do for it? Your big payday? Other than have a kid and never ask the dad for anything…? (Beat) See…mom… If you’re not going to tell me who my father is, I’m not going to take his money. RACHEL It wasn’t your father, Ariel, stop looking for… ARIEL Answers? You call me while I’m on the late shift, serving chowder to truckers off I-95 in January. In New Haven. (Beat) I haven’t seen you in two years. RACHEL That was your choice. ARIEL No; when you chose to lie to me, you made the choice. I don’t want money. No. I don’t need it. (Beat) I just want to know who I am, okay? SCENE CHOICES and SHOOTING INSTRUCTIONS Here are 8 scene choices. Take a look at them and choose the ONE that fits you best. You can shoot your scene with a video camera or you can use your computer’s Webcam. Either way, face the camera in a medium shot which shows your upper chest to the top of your head. Have your scene partner stand somewhere off-camera. You read your lines directly to the camera, while your scene partner reads his/her lines near you but is not seen on-camera. Make Me A Superstar!